Featured: Lighten Up!
Benny, 3, went with his grandfather to the church workday. Their job was to pick up discarded items and haul them to the dump. When they got to the church, Benny asked his grandpa, "Is God here?"
Grandpa explained that God is everywhere, but Benny persisted. "Is God here today?" Yes, Grandpa assured him. Benny kept looking around and seemed disappointed.
Their next stop was the parsonage, where the pastor had recently replaced some plumbing fixtures and left them by the curb. Benny wanted to know who lived in the house. His grandfather explained that this was the pastor's house.
Benny's eyes widened. He pointed to the curb and asked, "Are those God's toilets?"
The Rev. M. Park Hunter, Mosinee (Wis.) United Methodist Church
Goofy Christmas play
The Rev. Rachel Berry, recently retired pastor of Mount Vernon United Methodist Church, Champaign, Ill., has written one too many goofy church Christmas plays. An accomplished church Christmas playwright with many credits to her name, Berry finally went over the top with her offspring's comical roles, and they rebelled. In "Goofy Xmas Play I," younger brother, Johnny Kraps, and younger sister, Rachel Rebecca Berry, ganged up on the traditional bossy angel older sister, Imy Berry, in an attempt to overthrow the dictatorial holiday seraph.
In "Goofy Xmas Play II," Johnny and Rachel Rebecca recruited their sister's fellow graduate student from Nicaragua, Donald Iguarte, to their uprising.
In "Goofy Xmas Play III," the actors turned on the source of their humiliation, Rev. Berry herself! However, the revolt was short-lived and all returned to star in the next year's Christmas extravaganza!
The Rev. John M. Kraps, retired, California-Nevada Annual Conference
After playing Xbox one evening and undoubtedly mulling over the upcoming Christmas season, my Protestant grandson, Keegan, then 10, announced to his mom, "I say we give Hanukkah a try this year!"
My daughter, Katie, reminded Keegan that they are not Jewish and suggested Kwanzaa as a possible alternative. However, his interest in Hanukkah remained resolute. One wonders if the lure of eight days of Hanukkah gifts seemed appealing to this fourth-grader, whose mom plans her Black Friday-shopping strategy far in advance.
Deb Sypersma, Sioux City, Iowa