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Lighten Up: No sermon? Yes!

 

When our children were young, we attended a small United Methodist church that was part of a two-point charge. One morning, we arrived to find the church parking lot overflowing with cars. My son questioned this unusual situation, and so I explained that instead of our normal worship service, the choirs from our two churches had combined and were presenting a cantata at our church that morning.

A look of understanding came over his face, and he said, "I get it. A lot of extra people came today because they heard that there wouldn’t be a sermon!"

The Rev. Audrey Brosious, Good Shepherd/Buckhorn United Methodist churches, Bloomsburg, Pa.

Ewwww!


At one time, I was an organist at a rural church. One Saturday night, a skunk got into the crawl space underneath. Early Sunday morning, the church reeked of skunk. By 11 a.m., the church was aired out enough to be tolerable for the service, but it was still bad for another service that afternoon. The visiting minister commented that the smell of the skunk gave a new meaning to the word "pew."

Esther Wilcox, Dryden (N.Y.) United Methodist Church

Cheers!


In the church I attended years ago, two boys went to the altar rail for Holy Communion. After receiving their wafers and little cups, they looked at each other and clinked their cups together in "Cheers!"

Heather Bennett, Bethlehem United Methodist Church, Franklin, Tenn.

Move over, Emma Stone!


As a pastor’s daughter, I was invited to participate in many church activities. I joined a youth choir, even though I was terrified of public speaking (or singing, for that matter). Not surprisingly, when it was time to sing on Sunday morning, I panicked. However, only the director and group members knew because I lip-synced the entire song.

Sara Pérez, Nashville, Tenn.

Highway to heaven


My son-in-law Tony told my 8-year-old grandson Bradley that there is a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell.

Bradley, in his infinite wisdom, said, "Then it’s easier to get to heaven!"

Tony asked, "How do you figure?"

"I can’t drive, duh," Bradley replied.

The Rev. Diane Mettam, prayer ministry coordinator, United Methodist Disability Connections, Eureka, Calif.

An ancient tradition


The reading was from Acts, where the faithful gathered to pray, divided their belongings according to each one’s needs, lived together and ate together. This was the very first church potluck!

Kris Peterson Shults, Sioux City, Iowa

Have a fun church-related or similar story to share in 100 words or less? Send it to Barbara Dunlap-Berg, associate editor of Interpreterbdunlap-berg@umcom.org.